They say that adoption is not for the faint of heart. Especially international adoption. Much more paperwork, money and headaches involved in international adoption. We were just joking last night that when you are in the process of adopting, everything will break in your house or car. We did have our fair share of that, having car repairs, and to replace our garbage disposal and dishwasher. We are really super strapped right now. We had to pay for a second set of airfare that we weren't expecting. It cost me 3 times as much to fly my sister home than it did to fly her here. Ray didn't get a paycheck last week, and won't get one again until he goes back to work. He should bring a lot of money home with him, he took way more than he needs. We would rather be safe than sorry, when he's so far away. But it doesn't help me at home now!
I always said I saw myself doing this again in a couple of years. I would love to add one more girl, try and even it out in my house a little more. But you know that going overseas made me realize that I can't leave Jax like that again. They say, oh your kids will be fine, and yes, my other kids were fine. But Jax is not fine, and I can't take that risk again. My facilitators were joking that if I do this again, I have to do married adopting single, which means only one of us has to travel.
I also know that when she is home I will forget all about this part. All this stuff people say, I do know is true, but it doesn't make it easier right now. I still have my whiny days, like today!
Arina's region doesn't offer the red passport anymore. I know that soon no region will, when the supply runs out, no one will be able to get one. But it still sucks right now because many people do get them. These red passports you get the same day, or the next day. These new passports, have to go through Kiev, and then back to her region. The soonest they think they will get the passport is Friday. Which means the soonest daddy will be able to leave is next Wednesday!
This really sucks, because I've had a long couple of days at home.
Now I'll freely admit that I would never survive as a single mother, never! I depend to much on my hubby. Yesterday we woke up to two inches of snow on the ground!
I know, it stinks. Its way to early for snow. It all melted by the afternoon, but that brought on a whole new problem. It was a huge storm. Lots of rain before the snow started. The wind was blowing so hard, that I thought for sure I would wake up to a blown over fence, since my hubby wasn't home to fix it. The fence was fine, but everything was soaked. It melted so fast, that it filled the window well in the boys room, and was leaking water into their bedroom.
At least I thought enough to remember that Ray had a shop vac, that would soak up water. So I sat outside for an hour, vacuuming water out of their window well, so it would stop leaking into their bedroom!
Daddy will miss Halloween, and also Carter's birthday, which is the day after Halloween. Again, I know these are the sacrifices that we agreed to make when we committed to her, but it also adds to a bad day.
Last but not least, its snowing again right now, so we will wake up to a not so pleasant surprise. Yuck!!
I want her home so bad, that every extra day is seriously making me crazy. It seems like its been forever! Its been a year November that we lost that first baby girl that we wanted. And its been 12 years that I've wanted a girl. These last few days are taking months in my mind!
Tomorrow will be a better day, and my pitty party will be long forgotten. Thank goodness!
I'm so sorry!!!!
5 weeks ago