Monday, September 27, 2010

Ok, I can breathe and elaborate!

When I wrote my last post last night I was crying the whole time and trying to just get through it.
Our plane ride from SLC to Chicago was horrible! It was a tiny airplane that had turbulance the whole time. I was actually feeling pretty good in the airport, so I didn't take my valium that my doctor gave me. Well after we took off, and it was so shaky, I took one of my valium and chewed that sucker and swallowed it without any water! I'm going to make sure none of my planes home are that small, just can't do it. I talked to the boys one last time from my phone in Chicago. Then as I sat on the airplane, I bawled my eyes out. I still had two more plane rides to get through, and I was already exhausted and missing my boys. The flight to Germany wasn't bad, I highly recommend Lufthansa if you go out of country. They are super nice, and having the TV in my headrest kept me busy during that long flight! Our flight from Germany to Eastern Europe (tomorrow I can tell you exactly where we are, if you don't already know)I slept the entire time. I didn't even wake up for lunch. When we got here, everything was a whirlwind. We were dropped in our apartment with a phone and nothing else. We felt scared, alone, and exhausted.
If I didn't have the internet in our apartment I really would have lost my mind. One thing that made me absolutely crazy was not being able to pick up the phone and call my boys. I had to email my phone number to my sister. I will skype with the boys tonight, but not having that communication at first is super hard! Plus I needed reasurance from my friends that have been here, done that. Thank you for your words of encouragement!
I have to be honest that until a few hours ago, I was being so selfish. I was not even doing what I told my boys they had to remember. Which was that we can sacrifice being away from each other for a few weeks, when Makayla has been alone her whole life. Well I was ready to forget about the whole thing and jump back on a plane home. I wasn't thinking it was worth it. Now I'm getting excited for my SDA appointment tomorrow, and then on to see her!
Its getting better, but I tell you that it was much harder than even I imagined! If you are soon to travel to adopt, please remember that. Everyone that I talk to now that has been here a while is doing great, but they all said they went through the same thing. So don't let it scare you away, just be prepared for massive crying the first couple of nights!
Tomorrow is our SDA appointment, I'll update after that!

24 comments:

  1. O.K. that sounds better, I know it must be hard being in a foreign country and so far away from your boys, but get settled in, start skyping with the family, talk to the other parents there and things will not look so bad. Take in all the new experiences around you. This is a country filled with history, perhaps on your time off you can soak in some of that. And most important of all remember why you are there. I think you just need to see her once and you will feel so much better. The suspense is killing me so I can only imagine what you must be going through. When do we get to see her????? Can't wait!

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  2. Can't wait to see sweet Makayla! I can't imagine how hard the wait must be for you! It will all be well worth it - keep us updated! Best of luck and God bless all of you!

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  3. It sounds like things are getting a little better. I'm glad! Having makayla to travel back with you I'm sure will help to keep you mind more settled :)

    Just out of curiosity, what are the luggage requirements for lufthansa as far as measurements and weight (for check in and carry on)? We are traveling very soon (we will be there during your stay) and we are trying to prepare. Thanks in advance.

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  4. So glad you're there safe, Lacey. I still can't believe how quickly this time has flown. I really like what you said to your boys, about sacrificing a few weeks apart when Makayla's been alone her whole life. Sweet, and very easy for a child to understand and appreciate. Can't wait to hear more!

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  5. I'm glad you are feeling a little better and were able to get the much needed support and reassurance from those that had been there/done that before! I will continue to pray for you and your family and hope that the appointment goes well today!

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  6. I'm so glad you made it okay and are feeling a little better about the situation. I can totally understand the hard time you are having not being able to talk to your boys right away. You are awesome and I loved your comment about being apart for a few weeks from your boys after Makayla has been alone her entire life so far. Keep us posted. You all are truly in my thoughts.

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  7. This will all be worth it in the end! I'll be praying for you lots! I can't wait to read about your 1st time seeing Makayla! Hang in there! Love, Hugs and Prayers!!!

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  8. Keep your eye on the prize!! And try to enjoy a little European vacation while you're at it (yeah - not exactly a trip to Paris, eh?). It'll all be behind you soon enough!

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  9. Hang in there Lacey! You will soon have your baby girl in your arms and you'll be able to dress her in all the cute pink things you have for her.
    Wow! I just trembled thinking of what Makayla has been through and how her life is about to change. Whew that was strange. You are doing something wonderful.

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  10. Planes and airports and endless hours in a metal tube with no room to stretch can be exhausting and make even the strong cry. God is with you in this so lean on Him. Good Luck and I cant wait to see you with your little girl!!!

    Be blessed

    Ashlee

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  11. You are almost there! I feel the very same panicky feelings right now as we wait to travel. It will all be so worth it when you have her. I'm so excited for you!!!

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  12. Sending love and prayers of peace as this last leg of your amazing journey continues.Breathe friend,breathe.

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  13. I'm glad you are feeling better today and CAN'T WAIT until you get to meet your girl! I hope your next few days are busy as I'm sure that will make the time go by faster.

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  14. I'm glad you are doing better. I loved what you said about Makayla. Sweet girl. I can't wait till I have to make another emergency trip to Utah and get to meet her - for all she has been through and all you are going through to get her. Love and prayers

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  15. Oh Lacey, I hope things get better and better for you. I can't wait to see you with your girl!!!! Hang in there Sweetie!! Praying for you!

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  16. It sounds like sleep has done you some good. I truly believe that things will get better as you are there for a few days and settle in to your routine. Did you do like Marianne said and find the TGIF? By this time tomorrow....I hope to hear that you have your referral and are on your way to see Makayla!! I keep trying to picture what she looks like now :) Love you guys mucho!!!

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  17. I am so glad you are feeling better after rest and settling in a bit. Hoping the time flies and you will on your way back home soon.
    I was super excited when I read Sandra's post about you being in the same area! Oh I hope you get to connect with them before the leave there.
    Praying for you & Ray and the boys back home.

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  18. Keeping you in our prayers.

    And....uh.....pictures. Pictures are always good.

    *smooch*

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  19. I am glad to read this update and find you a little more upbeat. I can't even imagine how hard this trip is. I know it will all be worth it and you will forget the miserable parts. :) I can't wait to see pictures!!

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  20. Glad to hear things are better. I HATE small planes too (actually planes of any kind) so can understand why you were freaking out.

    Can't wait to hear about your first meeting with Makayla!!

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  21. Im thinking of you both and praying that it will keep getting better. I look forward to reading tomorrows post. Keep your chin up, try to smile, and know that everything that you have worked hard for is finally right before you. You are finally in the same zip cade as makayla. What a neat thing!

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  22. I am SOOO PROUD of you Lacey!!!! I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this is for you, but you are a TRUE HERO! Just think, before you know it, this will all be a thing of the past & you'll have your sweet baby girl home with you & your boys!!! Your dreams will have come true!

    Will keep on PRAYING HARD for you, like always. I love you so much & again, I am sooo proud of you!
    xoxo

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  23. glad you can breathe and things seem better after some sleep! can't wait to hear about meeting makayla and see pictures :)

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  24. Hang in there Lacey. The end result will be totally worth it. Praying that things will become more comfortable as the days go on and that you will start to be able to enjoy this amazing journey you are on.

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